butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Mom said you looked used
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize