She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We talked him into tasing himself.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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