We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
