uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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