remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
there is glitter all over my balls
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