It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
