Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
