I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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