If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
