i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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