I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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