Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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