Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
