Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
