Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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