Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
