OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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