Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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