Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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