were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
