We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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