Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
