loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
