Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
