Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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