Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
