she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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