i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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