The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
