just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
