I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
