How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize