i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize