I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
