I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
