I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
