Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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