Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize