My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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