i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
