I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
