you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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