were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
