How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
