Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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