Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
