Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize