that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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