i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
