How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
