No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
