why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
