Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
