This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize