just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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