I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
