You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize