It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
