You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize