Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
