i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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