Don't you send me to vm
They should really pass out barf bags in church
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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